Don’t Waste Pain

Last evening, Friday the 1st April 2016 at Laico Regency Hotel, Nairobi, Kenya, I took Sense 101 Life Club through one of the most imperative subjects in life, Starting All Over Again From Ground Zero. Even before we left the hotel, emotional healing testimonials and highlights of the teaching began streaming through our social media platforms. For the benefit of those who follow me around the world and couldn’t make it to our mentorship forum last night, allow me to share with you the key highlights of the eventful evening.

Everyone gets broken. Everybody has scars – we all have custom made flaws. Even giants get broken. The path of least resistance makes both men and rivers crooked. There are no perfect parents. No perfect families. No perfect couples. Work towards healthy families. Since everybody gets broken – don’t be too hard on yourself. Every business /marriage must go through a breaking point. Winning or losing depends on how you handle the breaking point. It doesn’t matter where you start but where you finish. The difference between starting and finishing is determined by how you handle the breaking point.

Don’t crash after the fall. Being broken doesn’t change your value. Crash a money bill and trample it underfoot, it doesn’t change its value. Similarly, your value is not your valuables. Your net worth is not your self-worth. Never be defined by failure. Failure is a temporal situation. It doesn’t and shouldn’t define your value. Never be defined by your past. Never be defined by what you did not know.

Is there someone you wish you never met; you never gave your phone number? Treat them well anyway. For your own good, you need to conclusively deal with your past. Bitterness can tempt you to desire to revenge. Always remember, vengeance belongs to the Lord. I reiterate, for the sake of your own progress, forgive the person who wronged you even if it calls for counselling. Learn to do good, anyhow.

Is there a decision/business deal you made that was too costly that you are still paying for it to-date? Don’t shy from investing again. Not every business break-even in the first year. But don’t fear trying. It’s always too soon to quit. Unfortunately, some people don’t have a chance NOT to fail, which by itself, is failure.

Prepare for litmus test. In this life, you will be analyzed and scandalized. In this life, you will be tittle-tattled and offended. Be equipped for your journey – prepare for war. Have the right frame of mind. Focus on what you have; not what you don’t have. You will never outgrow trouble in this life. No one gets out of this life alive. Half the battle is won in the mind. The heart of the problem is the problem of the heart. Work on your thoughts. Our own fears are often self fulfilling. Change any negative thoughts or they will dominate your life.

Don’t wish for less problems, work for more life skills. Work harder on yourself than on your job. Don’t wish it was easier, work to be stronger and better. Don’t try to stop the rains, carry an umbrella. If you change your inside; your outside will change. Don’t pay the price of ignorance – it’s too costly. Many people are anxious to improve their circumstances but they are not willing to improve themselves.

Breaking point is necessary for your destiny. Often, weaknesses and trials help us to be humble enough to reach our destiny. A seed must die to bear much fruit. Things that happen to you and around you shape your identity. You are a product of stress, shock, crisis, pressures, pains, traumas and problems.

Turn your lemon into lemonade. Don’t waste pain. Most people take the same street for a lifetime because they never take time to reflect.  Change the route. Change your focus – change the channel that you watch; replace it. What gets your attention gets hold of you. Reflection changes experience into insight.  Seek to pick the lesson out of every situation.

For instance, in all relational issues, half the problem is you. Matters money, while issues in life will at times destroy your income, staying in that situation for too long is injurious. You should never beg for that which you have the power to earn.

Are you strengthened or weakened by tragedy? Don’t just go through pain, grow through pain. Appreciate the power of pain. Darkness precedes light. Trials precede promotion. While at your lowest moment, focus on the end picture. Do I see the big picture or the bad picture? While in prison, John Bunyan wrote Pilgrims Progress, one of the best-selling books of all times. He turned his lemon into lemonade.

While in prison, President Nelson Mandela focused on the end picture (an apartheid free-nation) not on the bad picture (his imprisonment). He said, ‘You can’t imprison greatness’. From his deeds and words, Martin Luther King Jr., focused on the end product rather than his current struggles with racism. Once he said, ‘The arch of history bends towards justice’.

Learn to burry your dead. Avoid self destruction. Don’t waste time with what you cannot change – don’t waste time on what is already dead. Focus on what you can change. You had to go through it. It’s over now – Let it go. Your greatest pull should be the pull of the future. Wisdom is what you do (not merely what you think or say) to get out of your doldrums.

Winners argue, ‘I will feel good when I take action’. On the other hand, whiners argue, ‘I will take action when I feel good. Are you a winner or a whiner? Make the most out of a difficult situation – the wait is over. Don’t overstay at the stormy situation. Noah stayed in the ark for over a year although the storm was only for 40 days. As Albert Einstein observed, life is like riding a bicycle, to keep the balance, you must keep moving.

At ground zero, while you will feel alone, in reality, if you are a believer in God, you are never alone. Yes, even Jesus was lonely at that old rugged cross. But he focused on His Sunday to endure His Friday. He didn’t focus on His present circumstances. During your toughest season, consider Christ.

In trying times, you never lose friends; you get to know who your true friends are. Ironically, the only person who sticks closer to you in adversity than your friend is your creditor. The greatest poverty is not lack of food but loneliness. Misery loves company. Not everyone will celebrate your breakthroughs.

While the temptation to withdraw will be high at your breaking point, don’t be alone. The enemy works through isolation. If he can isolate you, he can terminate you. Embrace partnerships. You will never reach greatness without building alliances. The more the pressure, the more we isolate ourselves. Once you isolate yourself, you terminate your dreams.

You can never be fruitful alone. To accomplish His purpose, in biblical history, God used Jews and Gentiles; saints and sinners; the upright and prostitutes; kings and servants; free and slaves; priests and laymen; children and adults; men and women; the humble and the tyrants; a donkey and a dove and the list is endless. You don’t work with others because it is convenient but because of purpose. No man stands alone.

Connections give life meaning. We crave intimacy but we fear vulnerability. We crave acceptance but we fear rejection. We are afraid of being exposed. We build walls. The more insecure, the more defensive we become trying to be above things. Deliberately look for companion – you are a product of your relationships.

It’s God who noted that Adam was lonely. He wasn’t rejected or divorced. He hadn’t sinned. He had the company of animals. Our relationship with God is spiritual – it doesn’t fill the physical vacuum. Our sensual perceptions relate to our physical world. If you are single, don’t pray for God to take away sexual desires. What if God blesses you with a great life partner tomorrow? Never allow anyone to condemn you on account of your feelings – if they don’t want you, they shouldn’t play you.

Finally, you are not alone. You will always sense inner power at ground zero during your quiet moments. God has not forgotten you. Put your trust in Him. Never lose faith. Many who went ahead of us never received the promise. But they stayed the course. They kept the faith. If you lose stuff, job, cash, time, family, health…keep the faith. Finish the race. There is a cloud of witnesses that cheers you on.

For more of these life transforming sessions, join me on Friday the 6th May 2016 from 6pm to 8pm at Laico Regency Hotel, Nairobi, Kenya. The KES 1,000 participation fee and time investment might be your 3600 turn around moment as I take you through, Changing The Picture, a hilarious but life transforming session on changing your world views to arrive at your destiny. To reserve your booking, pay by Mpesa Till Number 983482 (Buy Goods and Services) and feel free to call 0718315551 or 0722278176 or/and email sense101lifeclub@gmail.com for any clarifications.

But for me to journey with you side by side, purpose, like hundreds of professionals to become a member of Sense 101 Life Club – the fastest growing mentorship club in Africa that focuses on life skills. The testimonies we heard on the floor last night as well as those that stream through our social media platforms attest on what God is doing at Sense 101 Life Club. Feel free to visit www.kinyanjuinganga.com to listen to our videos on previous sessions or/and to read our previous inspirational articles.

Dr. Kinyanjui Nganga

Conference Speaker & Corporate Trainer and the Chief Mentor, Sense 101 Life Club

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One thought on “Don’t Waste Pain

  1. Paul Miiri Kimani says:

    Dr. I have a number of your blogs and the wealth of information in it is extensive….. God is using you in a great way to shed light on lives……. Kindly plan a session in Mombasa

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