I Have No Enemies
It is estimated that 7 out of 10 job losses are conflict related. Almost all counselling cases are relational related. But while walking with people makes you vulnerable, one is too small a number to achieve greatness. There is no alternative to the top to harnessing the power of many. While walking with others may delay your journey, it’s the only tested formula of sustaining the walk. Getting along with others, therefore, is not a means to the top, rather, the only means to the top.
To get along with others, we need to get out of our own way, argues Dr. John C. Maxwell. And get along with ourselves first because the first person to cause us problems is ourselves. Coping with difficult people is difficult especially if the difficult person happens to be you.
You look at people from your own lens – your world view. We judge others by their actions but we judge ourselves by our motives. You can’t control how people feel about you but you can control how you feel about others. You see, how I treat you is my choice. How you treat me is your choice. Following that train of logic, I can choose not to have any enemies. But I have no power from stopping anyone making me his/her enemy. That’s her/his choice.
Getting along with people can be elusive. In Hebrews 12:14, the writer admonishes us to make every effort to live in peace with all people. If you will ever achieve anything, believe me, it will be with someone else and not just by yourself. People who don’t believe in themselves sabotage relationships. You’ve probably heard time and again, ‘you don’t change people by changing them; you change people by changing yourself’. What a profound truth!
A while ago, I came across an interesting piece, ‘Who’s point of View?’:
“When they don’t do it, they are lazy; when I don’t do it, I’m busy
When the other person overlooks a rule, he’s rude; but when I overlook, I am original
When he takes a long time, he’s slow; when I take too long, I am thorough
When he does it without being told, he’s over stepping his bounds; but when I do it, I’m taking initiative
When he impresses the boss, he is a sycophant; but when I do it, I am a cooperative
When he drinks, he is a drunk; but when I drink, I am an effective team player
When he finishes his work, it’s a reflection of my supervision; but when I get ahead, I am hard working”
Regrettably, we judge ourselves by what we know we are capable of doing but we judge others by what they have already done. Peter Drucker, perhaps the most respected management guru of the 20th century advised, ‘friends, look out to the window and see things that are within your view that others do not see.’
In the ‘Misery Recipe’, the author argues that the easiest way to be miserable in this life is to think and talk about yourself all the time; expect to be appreciated; be suspicious of everyone; never forgive criticism; demand agreements on your own views; soak people if they don’t show you a favour; never forget a service that you rendered; be sensitive to dislikes; trust nobody; insist on consideration; mirror yourself continually in the opinion of others; forfeit your duties; and do very little for others.
In this momentous subject, No Man Stands Alone, I invite you to learn with me one of the most important life skills, the art of developing relationships with growth potential. We will examine how to win favour with people to your desired advantage without taking advantage of people. At 6pm sharp to 8pm on Friday the 5th February 2016, join professionals and entrepreneurs from around East Africa at Laico Regency Hotel for a guaranteed life transforming seminar.
Kindly factor in traffic in Nairobi especially on Friday evenings among other variables as you prepare to come for this forum. No doubt that you will greatly regret leaving behind your most meaningful relationships for this particular forum. This could be your work colleague or a loved one. You will surely make your life easier by investing in the relationships around you. Without censoring truths, yet with a lot of love, they will be challenged on their personal roles in developing meaningful relationships whose net effect is making your relational journey easier, smoother and richer.
To avoid the sort of queues that we witnessed in our January event, we will close bookings this week on Friday the 29th Jan at 5pm. Make your payments of KES 1,000 by then through Mpesa Till Number 983482 (Buy Goods & Services) for automated reservation. Nonetheless, feel free to call 0718315551, 0721419430 or 0722278176 or email email@example.com for any clarifications. However, we assure our members that we have increased our staff size for handling the motivational fora commensurate to the phenomenal growth that we have witnessed as a mentorship club, by the grace of God.
For the benefit of those who are reading my articles for the first time, we, SENSE 101 LIFE CLUB, are a mentorship and life coaching club whose core focus is equipping our members with life skills. We believe in personal growth and development through deliberate personal investment and networking with other club members. That’s why we have opened the door for ‘marketing display tables’ for members who would want to market their products/services. Those interested need to contact the office by close of business on Friday the 29th Jan 2016.
Kindly note that we have uploaded some of our previous seminars on YouTube and you can listen for free by searching Dr. Kinyanjui Nganga. In addition, you can read previous inspirational articles at www.kinyanjuinganga.com However, we have some DVDs that are on high demand like ‘Secure Your Life in 90 Days’ and we have not yet uploaded but you can purchase an original copy at KES 350 at Wakestar bookshop at Rehani House.
Finally, as a mentorship club, SENSE 101 LIFE CLUB, we meet the first Friday of every month to inspire and equip our members to attain their God-given destinies. We encourage you to choose to become a member of our mentorship club by paying a one-off subscription fee of KES 1,000 to enjoy the benefits of full membership. For instance, all club members attended the January 8th meeting on a 100% complementary. In our December forum, club members attended the seminar at a discounted cocktail fee of KES 1,500 while the rest paid KES 2,000. In addition, members are given DVDs and learning materials for previous meetings free of charge.
Dr. Kinyanjui Nganga, PhD – Life Coach, Mentor, Corporate Trainer & Motivational Speaker