On this subject of criticism from close relationships…
While family was supposed to be a place of comfort, security, hopes, dreams, love and happiness, unfortunately, almost always, the closest relations are the toughest critics.
It hurts to admit some of them make you feel weak, pathetic, insecure and inadequate and are often the cause of failed dreams.
You run heaven and earth to satisfy their untamed egos. And when you think you’ve made some progress, they change goal posts.
It is not easy to review some relationships especially a life partner or one’s children.
For grown up siblings and other relatives, you can deliberately keep your safe distance. Do not intoxicate yourself with poison. Words are never neutral. They are either positive vivacity or destructive energy.
Never allow criticism sink in your system. Minimize contact hours with critics unless the discourse is turning constructive.
Use all the wisdom you have to prayerfully win them over to positive thinking. A good book can be a starting point. Inspirational sessions can be transformative.
For faith comes by hearing and hearing over and over again. Be positive with the process of transforming them by continually working on yourself.
Be wary, however, NOT to expose yourself to words that bruise your spirit. That’s why the wisest man wrote in Prov 4:23 as Dennis observed in today’s Daily Sense, above all, guard your heart.
The 1:5 Ratio Factor
For every negative input (words), two outstanding scholars, Dr. John Cacioppo and Dr. John Gottman separately argue that you will need 5 positivities to cancel the 1 negative.
For instance, if your hubby says, “Thanks for doing the banking for me today” and 5 minutes later he says, “If you had brains, you wouldn’t have said that!” He’ll need to speak at least 5 more kind statements to cancel the one unkind statement.
In one of our monthly plenaries, I’ll teach on The Power of the Spoken Word and I’ll illustrate the influence of words on every sphere of our lives (relational, career, health, mental, economic and even eternal destiny).
Surround yourself with positive support as much as humanly possible. People who view you from your destiny NOT history.
Worst case scenario, nothing is eternal except eternal life. Do not abort your destiny or postpone your life with a perpetual spirit destroyer. If you have no skills or capacity to handle his/her suicidal tendencies, way your options and do the needful and move on!
Lord Jesus said it was not so from the beginning. But Moses gave them the certificate of divorce because he knew issues will never be solved unless both parties were willing to play their complementary roles unconditionally.
In Math 19:8, the Lord blamed this regrettable state of affairs on our hardness of heart – refusal to learn and obey.
Will you personally be a doer of the word?
Dr. Kinyanjui Nganga