12th Aug Sense with Dr. Kinyanjui Nganga
Principle 5: Communicate with your child
Learn to communicate with your child at the child’s level. While communication is a broad subject, we shall restrict ourselves today mainly to the art of speaking.
I recommend you observe these 7 simple rules while talking with your child:-
i. Say it as though you are saying it for the first time, consistently without changing goal posts.
ii. Be specific. Address the situation at hand – don’t make issues personal. Labelling is disabling.
iii. Lower your tone. Remain impartial. Keep emotion out of your voice. When we raise tones, the message is lost in the volume as the recipient starts interpreting the motive.
iv. Use ‘I’ statements. Using ‘I’ takes the higher ground than ‘you’ which is a blaming word. ‘You’ is often accompanied by finger wagging.
Wrong: You are making me angry.
Correct: I am getting frustrated by this conversation.
v. Demonstrate respect. Politely ask the child to listen. Be sure you too listen to her/him.
Wrong: Quit interrupting me.
Correct: Excuse me, I have not finished my point.
vi. Be positive. Instead of using DON’T, use REMEMBER or DO.
Wrong: Don’t forget to do your homework.
Correct: Remember to do your homework.
vii. A short list of chores is better than a long, possibly confusing or frustrating list. A number of kids do not process multiple requests quickly or accurately.
Q. To what extent do you observe the 7 communication rules above?