While he was away…she was cheated

While he was away…she was cheated


At his very first glance on her, he was mesmerized, awestruck, fascinated, enthralled, amazed, charmed, startled…..My God, Oh, where has she been? Was I asleep for this long? Don’t even introduce me to anyone else. Bring her along. She is mine! My very portion, essence, bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh… God, please, get aside…I need to spend time with her. Now!

After a short while, he was preoccupied with his vocation. She was forgotten. The vows had long since vanished with the winds. Lonely and feeling deserted, abandoned and neglected, she wondered about looking for companion. The ultimate opportunist and most cunning dude was available just at the right time with his ever comforting but alluring deceits. No doubt she blundered by engaging the schemer in flatteries; but this perhaps was her only way out of loneliness and a sense of dejection.

By the time he came back from his important overseas business engagements…alas, it was too late. She had already given in. She too was flesh and blood with all human feelings. Rather than being remorseful, he blames ‘this woman’. When they first met, she was the most beautiful piece of creation he had ever beheld. Now, ‘this woman’…basketful of accusations. Notice that he even blames God for giving him ‘this woman’.  For your info, God didn’t give him the woman, he presented her to him…he deliberately and consciously chose her…he didn’t even ask for her name. He gave her a name. Named her after him…wo-man; implying, mine – my personal thing, my most precious jewel.

Sadly, rather than us learning from our human descents, we have replicated the creation story generation after another. Making relationships the source of incessant pain rather than never-ending happiness. Thriving on blame games rather than our individual roles that sum up to collective responsibilities. “How could she do this to me when I am working so hard for her? She is a lazy woman. A loafer. An idler. A Slacker”, some of us ignorantly accuse the same girl we first died to spend time with. We forget our first sensational encounter. We forget she needs us first. Not our things. Then we accuse her of being materialistic. A complete flop on male leadership. The reality is, if a man markets ‘things’, then any woman he dates will be the one looking for what he has marketed – things.  YOUR GIRL NEEDS YOU FIRST. Not your spirit. Your whole being. Don’t trade her for money or career.

He who instituted union between man and woman expected us to balance between our career pursuits and our relational goals. Today’s families ought to redefine success. Gentlemen, we must look beyond the ring of fame and fortune to earning the love and respect of those closet to us. Your girl was not a wedding project to compete with your career aspirations. Relationships won’t wait for you to make up after you reach the top….and then you pick up from where you left. This life has no vacuum. If you are not available, your space will promptly be occupied by the next available offer. That’s why it’s not uncommon nowadays for a woman locked in an affluent compound to ‘move’ with a shamba boy. She is burning with passion and the gardener is readily available while he is away…..

Kinyanjui Nganga

Author, Corporate Trainer and Motivational Speaker


2 thoughts on “While he was away…she was cheated

  1. Josephine says:

    Thanks for sharing this incredible wisdom sir

  2. i loved your comment last saturday in liz and kevins wedding in safari park,i will follow for more.

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